THE VALUE OF HONESTY IN A RELATIONSHIP

A good thread - anyone who reads my posts will know I REALLY value honesty. Then again I don't take bad truths well,better if put nicely. One of the main reasons I've had probs with my bloke recently is about honesty. He often thinks I'll be mad if he tells the absolute truth and so has sometimes avoided that. I understand the mentality, but the truth hurts much more once it's been turned into a lie. Once I know I've been lied to that truth becomes far more painful than it should have been because there's a sense of build-up and you feel a fool for putting your trust in someone. If it's over worries or insecurities you have (as in my case) it can be VERY hurtful cos you believe that person (I've been trying really hard to BELIEVE and TRUST people which I find hard) and you feel let down on top of everything else. I certainly felt, being lied to, I wasn't being respected, especially as I made it clear that the pain would be much worse if he lied to me and it was just so much better for us both that he was honest, even if it hurt. His trouble is, I think he isn't always sure how to put something tactfully. Men tend to think so rationally and practically they make statements of fact without thinking about how to phrase it carefully so as not to offend. My guy will even say things that aren't his own opinion as though they are opinional fact sometimes because when I'm upset he goes into rational overdrive - kinda scary for an emotional bod like me!! 

I guess I'm honest to a fault some of the time. I can be pretty blunt about someone I don't like but only to their face if I REALLY dislike them! As a result, I can show very aggressive anger to my boyfriend and use impersonal insults, but I can't pick up on personal things I know will hurt him, as he often does to me, as I simply can't be dishonest!

I just think a relationship without honesty is SO difficult and I'm desperately trying to re-inject some honesty/trust into mine so it doesn't happen again. Ok, rant over!